Did you know that holding a grudge can be beneficial to you?
I am serious. This is a discovery from the last years of my life. I don’t call it holding a grudge, I call it “simmering”.
Grudges are a part of many people’s lives; people hold grudges against their partner, family members, colleagues, friends and neighbours.
I read many times that grudges are for those who insist that they are owed something; forgiveness, however, is for those who are substantial enough to move on. And herein is my point.
This is how to process a grudge so that it becomes beneficial to you. When you realize that you are holding a grudge allow it to come in, sit with it, SIMMER, mull it over, let it be. Do not act upon it, we tend to think or feel that we must do something about it. This is a tricky part. We tend to want that “grudging” energy to leave but the truth is that it won’t leave unless you simmer through until it becomes a good coffee.
Energy is always circulating, it is not static, so when you allow the grudge to be, when you dialogue with it and ask what it is trying to show you, when you look into your own part of the interaction that created the grudge, when you see the mirror the grudge is showing you, the energy moves and transforms and simmers and distills.
Suddenly in one instant, you don’t feel the grudge anymore. It has dissolved. You don’t need to DO anything, it has simply flowed through you leaving you the lessons from the answers to your questions and observations. Forgiveness comes. You don’t have to give it or do it, it is the natural result of simmering and releasing.
Sure, sitting through the process is uncomfortable. We have not been shown to live THROUGH the E-MOTIONS, we have been taught to suppress them, to deny them, to pent them up. But allowing the e-motion to e-mote, to move, to flow and circulate is liberating.
There you have it. Holding a grudge can be beneficial to you. By not re-acting to it and creating a build up and more re-action, but by simmering in it and let it dissolve, you learn, you grow, your heart expands and you are set free.
I would love to hear your opinion! Let me know your thoughts. Contact me and let us talk!
Love and SHIMMERING light! (LOL)
Soulful Business Coach
“Forgive others, not because they deserve forgiveness, but because you deserve peace.” [Jonathan Lockwood Huie]
Did you know that holding a grudge can be beneficial to you?
A small tiny course correct can help achieve your goals.
I hope you had a wonderful first week of the year, still with the “holiday season” feelings in your heart!
Now that we are already in WEEK 2 of the new year it is time to get serious!
At this time of the year, we are all about those fitness goals, weight loss goals, business goals, life goals, and more, that all of us normally put out there!
Can you see yourself full of glee and satisfaction awaiting the New Year for 2019?
Probably not huh?
While I love the drive that comes with a fresh start, a lot of what people promise to do in January ends up being unsustainable or becomes less appealing with time, and as the year goes by the good intentions get diluted and fall through into oblivion.
GET CRYSTAL CLEAR ON 3 NON-NEGOTIABLE GOALS
This is why today I want to invite you to get crystal clear on THREE NON-NEGOTIABLE goals for this new year. Make sure you sit down with your journal at hand, your heart connected to your roots and your soul and express clearly 3 things you absolutely MUST achieve this year.
In order to identify them, you can think in your mind “what will happen if I don’t achieve goal a/b/c”?
Connect with how would you FEEL when you achieve these goals. Let the “emotions” be your drive
Once you have got these three goals clearly stated write them down and place them where you can see them all the time around your house.
Have fun with this!!!
If it has to do with self-care or self-worth, how about post-it notes on your bathroom mirror!!! This way you connect with your goal daily first thing in the morning.
What do you think of post-it notes on the door of the fridge so you can be reminded of them when you get your breakfast early in the day!
Wouldn’t you like to print them and place them in a frame on top of your coffee table in the living room or in your workspace on your desk! 🙂
In order to make sure you pursue them every month at the beginning of every month during 2018 ask yourself what FIVE things you MUST do/achieve in order to stay in line with these non-negotiable goals.
Ask yourself: “are things moving in the right direction? Are situations changing and shifting gradually in the right direction? Or not at all?
Am I making the decisions needed to veer the course in small degrees towards your goals and taking action to back my decisions?
Make sure you do this every single month and make sure you course correct. Remember, you can continuously check if you are on or off course and make small adjustments with your goals in mind.
Keep the intentions alive as time goes by. This is key to make you reach New Year’s Eve 2019 with a smile on your lips and a super fulfilled and joyful heart!
Make this year important and memorable for you.
It is within your power to make this one the best year of your life.
With much love.
Soulful Business Coach
Obstacles are what you see when you take your eye off the goal. [Chris Burke]
Funny what perspective does to you.
This morning I woke up and my heart was pouring love and gratitude. Literally. Not just saying it.
While I was still in that state of semi-vigil my mind and my higher-self had a look at the last “20-something” years of my life and mostly looked at the last 2.
A feeling of gratitude overcame me and I understood what a gift all the hardships I have been through the past years have been.
I am a spiritual woman with an inner journey that started during my teenage years, therefore I understand the concept of gratitude for hard times from a mental standpoint, but it is not always easy to shift the knowledge into experience, emotions, and feelings.
I have also revisited my past, my very past PAST, with the help of other coaches and healers and masters, with different tools and approaches such as psychotherapy, meditation, shamanic healing, Osho Prana Healing (energy chakra clearing), Aura-Soma (healing with colors), releasing of cellular memories, and more… I have come at it from every single angle I could gain perspective from.
Through this process I have gained more love for myself and for others, I have dropped judgment and I have learned empathy and compassion.
Excluding the last month where things have changed profoundly, I can clearly state that the last 2 years of my life have been on many levels, mostly the levels that pertain to my own personal power, THE HARDEST ONES.
Because having a loving soul-caring big-hearted grounded man by my side (yes all of that), that was holding the space for me to safely let go of control and dive even deeper, all shit came lose (pardon my French).
So I dove deep into the very depths of the darkest of nights of the soul… and gave it my all. As you have probably heard before, embracing the darkness in you and allowing it to come inside, you actually dissolve the darkness and allow light to come in. Yup, it is counterintuitive but it works this way.
The underlying key element in this alchemic process is TRUST in life, unshakeable faith in yourself and mostly in the fact that the universe, Source, God (you give it the name that works for you) has your back and wants the best for you. THIS IS THE KEY POINT.
The universe wants what is best for you, and while you are walking through your shadow side, and since you might not remember this and at times may not even believe this is the case, you throw a tantrum to the universe! [Smile] You know what I am talking about. You stamp your feet, and you yell, and you resist, and the more you do this the more you stay where you are! I love the ironic sense of humor of the universe. [Smile – Smile – Smile]
However, when you relentlessly keep at it, when you surf the waves of doubt, when you always, tenaciously come back to that space of trust while holding your vision, you eventually make it through to the other side.
I was telling you about this morning… As I was lying in bed I understood at a cellular level the priceless gift I have been given by walking in my “hardship” shoes.
As I now move forward into a shining future, manifesting more and more the vision of success I have for my heart-centered soulful coaching business, I realize the powerful empathy and understanding that I carry within me, beyond all my training, professional career, certifications and healing path.
I was there, I know what it means to visit the darkest pit, a few examples below:
*there were times when I only had cents to put food on the table for my sons,
*there was that when I failed in the launch of what I had wrongly perceived was my dream holistic center,
*other moments I felt stuck on a plateau and nothing I was doing seemed to bring results,
* those years with the abusive husband father of my children
* I fell in the hole of the credit matrix
* Many more dark deep black times of depression
The fact that I got back up and accepted a new vision and dream as a co-creator and went after it, the hardships I went through, all of this and more, is POWERFUL, because when you tell me where you are in your own journey, I can embrace you and receive your shadow, holding the space for you to believe in yourself, knowing that magic is real and that what you think is real is, is in fact, the illusion you chose for your spiritual growth.
If I ask myself what was the most powerful element that helped me re-create a new reality for myself I can answer with two things:
- the belief others had in me when I couldn’t see it encouraged me to remember who I am
- hanging in there always remembering that after the darkest night comes the dawn.
I want to do this for you, hold the space for you, help you remember your power, who you are and believe in yourself.
The end of the year is a time of evaluation. It is human to look back at the “one-year-bucket” and think about what we did, what we didn’t, what was great, and what was not that great. And it is also a perfect time to set up new goals for the next “bucket” of 1 year.
How about you make the BEST OUT OF 2018 and you kick it off by giving yourself the gift you most likely give your loved ones? What do I mean? I mean putting yourself in the first place, investing in yourself and reaching for that life you know is available for you, a more fulfilling joyful life of ease and grace.
Soulful Business Coach
Every transition is easier if you believe in yourself and your talent. [Priyanka Chopra]
If you believe in yourself everything is possible.[Miley Cyrus]
What? Energy doesn’t exist.
I am so sick of hearing this being played back at me every time I speak to my 19 year old about coaching and about the power we all have to create our own reality! 🙂
Argh…. But since I like challenges, I set myself to find a way in which to explain this concept in terms that everyone can understand it, using music as an example since my son is a musician….
Curious? I hope so!
We all live in a vibrational universe and we are vibrational beings whose cells and organs pulsate at a particular frequency. Our brain pulsates with electromagnetic energy affected by our emotions, our health and our general state of well being.
Our body contracts and pulses at various rates including the contraction of our stomach, our heartbeats and the rhythm of our breathing. Our whole body with each of its cells and organs forms a vibrational frequency, which is unique to us.
And I know “unfortunately” or “fortunately” from experience that when there is DIS-ease, depression or negative behaviour patterns it is because our bodies are “out of tune”.
Are you familiar with the physical concepts of “resonance” and “entrainment”? bear with me. Please read the definitions below in order to get a better understanding of my next point.
Resonance: Resonance is when one vibrating object causes another vibrating object with the same resonant frequency, to vibrate.
Entrainment: the principle of entrainment appears when a more powerful frequency causes a lower powerful frequency to be entrained by the more powerful one.
So to the point… have you ever been in a room where a guitar player has a second guitar sitting on a corner, and as he plays one instrument, the second guitar starts emitting similar sounds? That is resonance.
Our language has these concepts imbedded in it, think of these phrases for example: “I am in tune with a situation”, or “he and I are on the same wave-length”, to mention a few.
Therefore, the vibration we give off is met and reflected back to us, and it is easy to understand that we cannot solve our problems by using the same kind of thoughts we had when we created them.
But why is this important? Because there is a way in which we can make a shift and raise our vibration to become powerful manifestors. Here is how.
There are specific and EASY things we can do to raise our vibration. I invite you to watch my FREE Video “Become a powerful creator, 5 untold secrets to manifest the life of your dream.” Simply click here.
Here is a tip: You can tap into the principle of entrainment.Thankfully. Seek people and events that have a high frequency, such as meditation groups, dancing groups, walking in nature activities, and anything you are attracted to that you know has a high healthy vibration.
By the principle of entrainment you will be “pulled” into a higher vibrational frequency, and as you physically move your brain will start to create new habits and new pathways.
Isn’t it grand? Not only can we raise our vibration by actively doing any of my 5 tips to become a powerful creator.
But also by taking over new activities and surrounding yourself with new friends!
Remember that if you are in your comfort zone you are going nowhere, you have got to move into your action zone.
Soulful Business Coach.
Don’t wait! The world needs you to shine bright!
In my first job AFTER I came out of university as an Information Systems Analysis graduate, my boss repeatedly used to say “remember where we are coming from, where we are and where we are heading”. This was his moto to guide us into always keeping our path and our goals in mind so we could achieve them without doubt!
In those days I didn’t understand why he was saying that all the time. NOW I DO.
Everybody these days speak about manifesting and about the Law of Attraction. Don’t get me wrong, the Law of Attraction is a powerful, positive and important law, but it is not sufficient in itself to guarantee success.
Let me give you 3 things to bear in mind to stay on track as you embark in a life transformation journey.
- Determine your destination: Set clear and specific goals, write them down and make a plan to ensure you take one step at a time to know you are heading in the right direction day after day.
- Take the leap: You might have heard me say this often, just like Indiana Jones in the movie “Raiders of the Lost Ark”, you must take off toward your destination with no guarantee of success. Did you know that from the time they take off ALL airplanes are off course 99% of the time??? 99% of the time! And yet, life is just like an airplane ride and your role, just like the pilot’s role, is to continuously course correct. You must be willing to stay outside of your comfort zone as you stretch yourself into uncharted territory.
- Thus our very important third thing to keep in mind: YOU must resolve in advance that you will never give up because you will have to take risks knowing that sometimes you will succeed and others you won’t… but a battle doesn’t make war. Continuing with the airplane example, just like any aircraft you will face headwind, storm fronts, lightning and unexpected turbulence for sure if you are in pursuit of a worthy goal.
So here is the point, we never have guaranteed success in anything we set ourselves to do but it is your ability to persist in the face of all adversity while heading in the direction of your goals what will ultimately guarantee your success. It is the tenacity and the ability to hold your vision what will pull you through the darkest of nights, which by the way, is the darkest precisely before dawn.
Much love always,
Soulful Business Coach
PS: Ready to “course correct”? You don’t have to go at it alone! Book a “Purpose Activation Session” and let us find out what’s stopping you from living the life you dream of. Simply click on these words to book your call!!!