It is their fault!

Do you find yourself examining different aspects of your relationships and often thinking it is “their fault” or “they are in this way”?

When you think in this way you are projecting and when you are projecting you disown what you don’t believe is yours. You are putting outside of yourself a part of you that you are not ready to admit to or that you cannot see. We call this part of ourselves our shadow.

Embracing our shadow side allows us to also embrace the gift that comes from the part of the shadow that is lit. Isn’t that interesting?

We cannot see in others what we don’t already have inside. When we point our finger at someone else in a derogatory way or in praise, it is because we have that same thing within us. It may be in our shadow on in our light, but you can rest assured it is within us.

When you come to understand you contain everything you see in others your entire world will alter.

Since the Universe always works with us and for us, if there is an aspect of ourselves we don’t accept we will continuously attract people in our lives who act out that aspect. “Ain’t that nice”!

The gift in this stems from the fact that with some aspects of ourselves, unless we don’t accept the shadow part, we cannot rejoice from acknowledging the gift within it. So imagine, for example, the power from accepting that “yes, I am a geek, because you know what, I am also super intelligent” (assuming that being a geek is an aspect you disown).

Shadow work is a big part of the healing process when you are moving from emotional pain into joy and opening up to love. I work with my clients to help them recognize their shadow AND welcome it together with its gift.

Here is a simple exercise you can do to get a better gist on this. Imagine there was an article written about you in a local newspaper. What are 5 things you would not want to be said about you? And what would be 5 things they could say about you that wouldn’t matter to you? The litmus test is to realize that all these words reflect aspects of you. The trick is that you were taught at an early age by family and friends that the first 5 words are the wrong things to be. Taking back these aspects of ourselves we have disowned is a crucial part our the journey to love.  This is a road that leads to our inner freedom.

Feel free to contact me to learn more about the way I work with my clients and shadow work. I will put a button below so you can contact me.

Love and LOTS OF LIGHT!

Valerie Bottazzi

Love Coach & Healer

 

What Does Femininity Feel Like?

Hello Goddess!

If I were to ask you what does femininity feel like to you what would you say?

If I were to ask you how does femininity show up in your life what would you tell me?

There is a tribe in the Amazon that has inspired me, they call themselves the Achuar people.

The live their tribal lives honoring their feminine and masculine roles.

The feminine role is to create such as make babies, cook, and make a special drink that supplies them with carbohydrates and they are the builders.

The masculine role is to hunt, fish, be a warrior, bring home protein, cut down trees to make shelter, and be the required destroyers who keep the village alive.

Both roles, the feminine and the masculine, are essential.

HOWEVER, the Achuar women have one more role … they tell men when to STOP.

It is the women’s role to tell the men when there are enough trees for shelter and they say: ”You don’t need to cut down any more trees”

Women tell them when they’ve brought home enough fish and the village has enough to eat, they say: “Don’t kill any more fish they say”.

It is a beautiful reminder of collaboration rather than competition, of contribution rather than greed, of trusting the Universe always has our back.

This is what femininity looks like for me:

✿ It means becoming fully available to receive

✿ It means knowing the art of receiving

✿ It means connecting to my soul and letting my intuition guide me

✿ It means trusting in my intuition

✿ It means all my desires for beauty, luxury, relaxation, and self-care are a part of my power

✿ It means leaning into my “sexy woman” (makeup, hair, clothes) without guilt or feeling frivolous

✿ It means being strong and compassionate simultaneously

✿ It means empowering those around us

✿ It means knowing how and when to set boundaries (when to say STOP)

✿ It means knowing sensuality and beauty are part of my essence

✿ It means vowing for collaboration rather than competition

✿ It means choosing contribution rather than greed

I’d love to know what does it mean to you. Would you share in my Facebook group “Unleash Your Inner Power”?

 

 

My wish is to empower and inspire you to live with your masculine and feminine side in harmony and balance allowing you to expand and enjoy a fuller richer life.

Shine bright

 

Valerie Shakti Bottazzi

Love Coach & Healer

What is your biggest “hunger”?

What is your biggest hunger telling you?

What is that fire burning inside? Are you listening?

Are you yearning for love and connection? Then let’s do something about this! Let’s go for it! What are you waiting for?

Stop playing the victim.
Stop playing small.
Stop staying in hiding.
Stop pretending you are a fragile doll.
Stop HURTING.

What is it costing you to stay in a place of hiding, hurt and fragile?

Are you ready to take the leap and go for passion? Embrace your power? And truly open up to true love?

I guide women to get ready for love again, and you know what? I love what I do, but I realize it is not only a one on one job. The more of us, women, that connect with LOVE, with our gifts, and are ready to love, the more we can guide our men into the energy of true love.

With our sacred feminine love, we can guide and help men connect with their sacred masculine and heal old karmic wounds freeing them as well to live more balanced lives and allowing their emotions to have a large space in their lives.

I believe that both as women and as men, as we connect with love and get ready for love, we truly impact the world. It sounds like big words, but they are not. It is as simple as the imagery of a drop in the ocean. Yes, a drop is small, but there would be no ocean without drops. The same is true for a grain of sand in a desert.

Love and light!

Valerie Shakti Bottazzi

Love Coach & Healer

Have you given to get?

I want to point out a quote from “A Course In Miracles” and take it from there: [“Giving to get” is an inescapable law of the ego, which always evaluates itself in relation to other egos.]

The reason why I am bringing this up is that often times when we are hurt and can’t seem to find our true love, what is going in on is that we have a belief, often times subconscious, that we don’t deserve to receive. We have an automated re-action pattern by which we give too much; we are givers to the extreme of only allowing ourselves to receive if we have “given enough”.

Look back into your life and your dynamics and evaluate how many times did you allow yourself to receive and it what context? Take the most honest stock, looking at “what is”, is step number 1 to be able to transform it, if we wish to.

You may find out that in your relationships as a daughter, son, mother, wife, ex-wife, partner, friend… you have a pattern of giving too much. If this is the case you might have had rifts in many relationships because the dynamic has had you giving to the point of getting really depleted and even resentful for it.

The truth is that you deserve to receive as much as you give and give as much as you receive, AND receive for no reason. Giving and receiving is the breath of love. One cannot exist without the other and, our love center (the heart chakra) is balanced when our flow of giving and receiving is fluent, harmonious and balanced.

Remember you are worthy simply because you are and I may add, “worthiness” is a choice. 

The difficulty is that our “old stories” run our show, and our ego’s compulsion to be accepted and loved does not leave us free to choose.  Tricky isn’t it? BUT you can always choose to heal and write your “new story”, fresh and vibrant. What is YOUR choice?

Love and brilliance,

Valerie Bottazzi

Love Coach & Healer

6 Powerful LOVE Affirmations

I am a firm believer in the power of mindset work, mindfulness, affirmations, and mantras to support our manifestation and transformation. Rewiring our brains to transform our beliefs is one of the many ways in which we influence our co-creation.

Prior to going to the hospital for my surgery, I did a lot of mindset work connecting with my body, preparing mind and body for the surgery, so the body could be ready to receive and accept the prosthesis and everything that came with the surgery. I did a lot of affirmations about it all of it being okay.

And it has been!

I have used affirmations successfully in my life to “re-wire” my mind on many beliefs I wanted to transform. Today I am sharing with you a few LOVE mantras so you can transform your beliefs about love.

Enjoy them!

The point is to say them out loud many times a day, to write them in your journals, to feel them and embody them often for at least 100 days.

  •  I am open and receptive to all the love life offers me. I love this mantra as a starting point because it is an invitation for love to come into your life. You are informing the Universe that you are ready to and open to “receive”.
  • I am surrounded by love. What you focus on is what you get more of. With this affirmation you ensure you focus on what you HAVE versus what you don’t have..
  • I deserve love. Too often we sell ourselves short believe we don’t deserve what is coming or even what we have because of profound traumas that have us believing we are “unworthy”.
  •  I live an abundant life. Abundant life as in everything! Love, relationships, family, health, wealth.
  • My dreams are coming true. Dream, desire, set goals and ACT upon them. If you are taking inspired action then this more than an affirmation is reinforcing a fact.
  • Thank you. Gratitude is a big door opener for everything we want to manifest and more so with love. Always add thank you for …. adding the things you DO have and you are grateful for. Thank life, thank the people in your life, thank YOURSELF!

Lots of love and light!

Valerie Bottazzi

Love Coach & Healer