Love is the Answer

The Answer is Love!

 

Remember when John Lennon used to sing “love is the answer”?

I know, it is trite, and overused, BUT…. LOVE IS THE ANSWER TO ALL.

Think of this for a moment.

Whenever you feel down because somebody has hurt you, the way out is to give love back.

If you received envy and aggression, yup, you’ve got it, the way to heal YOUR wound is by sending love back.

When your heart has been broken, the way to mend your heart is loving the one who hurt you…

When someone, anyone, has done something that has left you feeling down and broken, the answer is…. Love. You’ve got this.

There is a caveat however and I am going to share this key aspect with you.

I learned from Boddhisatva Fukyo who lived more than 800 years ago a fundamental aspect of answering with love. Around the 1200ths when Buddhism was in a downfall period, people would be aggressive towards those following the Buddhist path to enlightenment. Whenever someone would speak ill of Fukyo, curse him or throw stones at him, he would move to the side to avoid the stones while leaning towards the aggressor, and hands in prayer he would say “I have profound reverence for you, I would never dare treat you with disparagement or arrogance, because I can see the Buddha within you.”

Isn’t this a beautiful anecdote? This story tugs at my heart because it explains very clearly that learning that love is the answer doesn’t mean to “turn the other cheek”. This is not about submission or loving when what you desire is to respond back with similar energies such as hate, revenge, spite or other responses.

Responding with love means protecting oneself from the aggression and the aggressor (as in moving to the side to avoid the stones) BUT understanding that we are all ONE, that we are all a vessel of Source energy. It is about healing ourselves and learning that loving back is the only way to freedom.

I love a good conversation and this subject might create strong opinions in you which I’d love to hear about. Please write to me any time. CLICK HERE to write to me!

Lots of love and light,

 

Valerie Bottazzi

Love Coach & Healer

 

“I believe that imagination is stronger than knowledge. That myth is more potent than history. That dreams are more powerful than facts. That hope always triumphs over experience. That laughter is the only cure for grief. And I believe that love is stronger than death.” [Robert Fulghum]

Praise by Marina Jackman

I had some unresolved feelings and wounds related to my past, my family, and especially myself. I was concerned because I didn’t think I was ready to explore those issues, and I didn’t think I had the extra money to invest in myself. However, I am very glad I said yes to Valerie’s coaching.

Through our time together Valerie helped me in establishing my life & career goals, she guided me as I overcame hopelessness & overwhelm getting me past some mental-blocks while gaining confidence working through my mindset. Valerie helped me get clear about who I am and what I want in life; she gave me useful tools that I can now use whenever I’m feeling helpless, lost, or frustrated and she further helped me understand why I was acting in a certain way helping me heal patterns so I could reset myself in a more positive and loving way.

Since I finished with Valerie’s program I feel more confident, I understand what I want and where I’m going with more clarity. I’m not scared of bad things happening because I understand that I have the power over my way of behaving and thinking. I am more than grateful and I now understand the power of manifesting what your soul really desires.

I particularly appreciated the possibility of speaking freely and not being judged at any point. I felt like I could speak without any restrictions and that helped the process become more authentic and significant.

The 3 biggest benefits of working with Valerie have been:

1) Being in a judgment free zone

2) Getting many tools to help me cope with the different issues/emotional blockages I now recognize and

3) Being able to revisit previous conversations

I would absolutely recommend working with Valerie. She is a warm and authentic person with many years of experience in different businesses and spiritual fields, which make her a holistic coach that can help you in many aspects of your life journey. No matter what you have going on, from business to inherited family traumas, she can see and feel beyond words and help you get to the bottom of what you are experiencing to heal those deep emotional scars. I did the 6-month program and it completely changed my life, now I have the tools to understand my behaviors, and modify them in a healthy, loving way. It’s not magic, it’s hard work, but having Valerie by your side to guide and help you get through your fears, frustrations and emotions is a wonderful experience.

Marina Jackman

Digital Project Manager

It is their fault!

Do you find yourself examining different aspects of your relationships and often thinking it is “their fault” or “they are in this way”?

When you think in this way you are projecting and when you are projecting you disown what you don’t believe is yours. You are putting outside of yourself a part of you that you are not ready to admit to or that you cannot see. We call this part of ourselves our shadow.

Embracing our shadow side allows us to also embrace the gift that comes from the part of the shadow that is lit. Isn’t that interesting?

We cannot see in others what we don’t already have inside. When we point our finger at someone else in a derogatory way or in praise, it is because we have that same thing within us. It may be in our shadow on in our light, but you can rest assured it is within us.

When you come to understand you contain everything you see in others your entire world will alter.

Since the Universe always works with us and for us, if there is an aspect of ourselves we don’t accept we will continuously attract people in our lives who act out that aspect. “Ain’t that nice”!

The gift in this stems from the fact that with some aspects of ourselves, unless we don’t accept the shadow part, we cannot rejoice from acknowledging the gift within it. So imagine, for example, the power from accepting that “yes, I am a geek, because you know what, I am also super intelligent” (assuming that being a geek is an aspect you disown).

Shadow work is a big part of the healing process when you are moving from emotional pain into joy and opening up to love. I work with my clients to help them recognize their shadow AND welcome it together with its gift.

Here is a simple exercise you can do to get a better gist on this. Imagine there was an article written about you in a local newspaper. What are 5 things you would not want to be said about you? And what would be 5 things they could say about you that wouldn’t matter to you? The litmus test is to realize that all these words reflect aspects of you. The trick is that you were taught at an early age by family and friends that the first 5 words are the wrong things to be. Taking back these aspects of ourselves we have disowned is a crucial part our the journey to love.  This is a road that leads to our inner freedom.

Feel free to contact me to learn more about the way I work with my clients and shadow work. I will put a button below so you can contact me.

Love and LOTS OF LIGHT!

Valerie Bottazzi

Love Coach & Healer

 

Have you given to get?

I want to point out a quote from “A Course In Miracles” and take it from there: [“Giving to get” is an inescapable law of the ego, which always evaluates itself in relation to other egos.]

The reason why I am bringing this up is that often times when we are hurt and can’t seem to find our true love, what is going in on is that we have a belief, often times subconscious, that we don’t deserve to receive. We have an automated re-action pattern by which we give too much; we are givers to the extreme of only allowing ourselves to receive if we have “given enough”.

Look back into your life and your dynamics and evaluate how many times did you allow yourself to receive and it what context? Take the most honest stock, looking at “what is”, is step number 1 to be able to transform it, if we wish to.

You may find out that in your relationships as a daughter, son, mother, wife, ex-wife, partner, friend… you have a pattern of giving too much. If this is the case you might have had rifts in many relationships because the dynamic has had you giving to the point of getting really depleted and even resentful for it.

The truth is that you deserve to receive as much as you give and give as much as you receive, AND receive for no reason. Giving and receiving is the breath of love. One cannot exist without the other and, our love center (the heart chakra) is balanced when our flow of giving and receiving is fluent, harmonious and balanced.

Remember you are worthy simply because you are and I may add, “worthiness” is a choice. 

The difficulty is that our “old stories” run our show, and our ego’s compulsion to be accepted and loved does not leave us free to choose.  Tricky isn’t it? BUT you can always choose to heal and write your “new story”, fresh and vibrant. What is YOUR choice?

Love and brilliance,

Valerie Bottazzi

Love Coach & Healer

Testimonial by Elies Hadi

Valerie is highly intuitive & provides loving space for deep healing work.

She is able to dive deep into an issue to resolve the core of the problem which is very transformative and powerful.

I had the privilege to be coached by her and guided through a powerful process where I felt safe, love and healed an important piece of my family dynamics which has transformed my relationship with my family, money and business, ever since!

I would recommend to work with Valerie without hesitation!

Elies Hadi

Life Coach, Elies Hadi International